Lord Overseer Tackles Immigration Reform

Immigration Reform:

Now that we have settled the matter of breeding for success, it is time to turn our attention toward another issue that has long divided our country.  Illegal immigration.  There is no doubt that we are in the midst of a wave of rapid immigration, especially from our more, shall we say, “tropical” nearby countries. 

We will never stop people from wanting to come to the US.  We are the “Land of Opportunity” after all and all people want to improve their station in life.  But, truthfully, they all won’t be gems.  Not everyone who walks through the desert or hops on an inner tube to come here will wind up being the next Oppenheimer or Kissenger.  Some will be criminals or lazy slogs milking the system.  We must have a way to rid ourselves of the undesirables.

I, however, have come up with a very simple solution to controlling our immigration problems.  I believe soccer, or futebol, holds the key to successful immigration control.  Since the entire world is futebol crazy, except us (ok, and Canada), maybe we can use it to our advantage.  Here is the premise.  Everyone gets in and is immediately issued a GREEN card.  Suit up Jose, ready to play.  However, at the first major screw up…………..boom, YELLOW card.  That’s right……..better straighten up……on notice.  A second screw up.  Bam!  RED card!  Pack it up Paco, game over.  Off you go. 

boxofficefootball.com

I like it.  It’s simple.  The rules are already understood in all the countries where the immigrants came from.  It is cheaper.  The players don’t even have to speak English to follow the process. How great is that?  Done.  Next.

Seriously though, a little history lesson might serve some of those blood thirsty patriots some good.  First, of all….the Spanish, not the English got here first.  By about a hundred years!  St. Augustine, founded by Spanish was our first permanent settlement.  Cortez, De Soto and Menendez were cleansing the native population well before we perfected it.  Actually, we are the immigrants.  Ask an Indian.

We now have more people in our communities speaking Spanish than I heard during my weeklong vacation in Mexico.  Red blooded Americans everywhere are up in arms…….”they are taking our jobs”………”if they are coming here, damnit, they better learn English”.   Well, that’s true…..somebody should.  It’s not like we have ANYONE here who struggles with the King’s English, is it? Know what I sayin?  That is if you ignore rap music, interviews with most NBA or NFL players, and most mountainous regions in the US.  Ok, except for Colorado, somehow.  And as for taking our jobs…….   Well, it’s been a while since I worked in a field picking fruit, but I was hoping to get back to it some day.  Come on.  And I am sure that all of that money they are taking from us is above the table and reported on tax returns, right?  Funny, on my way to work every morning I pass a Hispanic work crew.  If we have such a problem with them being here, maybe we should stop hiring them.  Just a thought.

Last thought:  I wonder if they are treated as well here as we are when our cruise ships stop or the resort stay is over.  During my vacation, I never heard anyone yell “Go home, Gringo!”